Healthy Dependency


High maintenance. Dependent. Needy. No doubt, to be called any of these is a major put down in our culture. Society applauds independence and exalts people who operate close to the boundaries, ignoring the wisdom of those around them. But what has Jesus called us to?

Don’t get me wrong! I’ve got as much appreciation for courage, risk-taking, and swimming against the current as anyone. Let’s ask the question, what forces tend to make us fly alone?

For some, it’s fear of being seen as weak or simply just not having anyone to talk with. For others, it’s pressure to prove that “we have what it takes,” so we press forward towards independence, rather than asking anyone around us, am I crazy to be considering doing this?

What I call “healthy dependency” in the title could better be called “godly interdependence.” While our relationship with God is important, I’m talking here about our relationships with those people God has provided around us to be a sharpening, supportive, encouraging, and guiding force in our lives.

God’s Word gives us clear direction on this topic:

  • “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance” (Proverbs 1:5 NIV)
  • “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22 NIV)

It takes a good deal of humility to embrace help and advice from others.

What keeps you from asking for help or guidance from others?

In my next post we’ll look at guidance from the New Testament on this topic. What do the leaders of the early church have to say about how we are to relate?

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